Father’s Day

Posted in Uncategorized on September 4th, 2016 by gaiaswisdom — Be the first to comment!

Father’s Day… A time for honouring dads everywhere. But it’s also a time to honour masculine energy, as we do the feminine. To respect the duality of nature, the importance of both, the yin and yang.

A time to honour those too who may not have passed on their genetic code but who are fathers nonetheless. Of ideas, of creations, of inspiration.

Image: www.unityinmarin.org

Image: www.unityinmarin.org

You see, it takes more than the passing on of your DNA to be a dad. There are too many fathers out there and not enough dads. It’s easy to become a father…. not so much to be a dad… And not everyone is cut out for it. I see so many “fathers” out there with kids crying out for a dad.

My own father would’ve been 80 last week. But he was an example of a man who did the bare minimum of what was expected of him. His duty as father. And he got the same from us in return as a result.

When I chose my own partner I wanted someone who would be a dad to our children… Not just a father… Guiding, teaching, being the rock and strength they needed when they lacked their own, an example to our daughter of what a man truly is… And I got it.

I marvel at my friends who have wonderful relationships with their fathers…. a concept completely foreign to me. But I had and still have, influential male role models in my life including teachers, ‘virtual’ dads I’ve met online… And my father-in-law.

My little brother… Not blessed with being a father this lifetime, he is one who should have been given the opportunity. But he is an amazing example of positive male energy: strong but sensitive, guiding where needed, supportive and giving advice. He’s the ultimate uncle.

Then there are those who lament not having kids… That doesn’t mean you can’t have a positive ‘dad-like’ impact on others. You have the opportunity to influence younger generations by your deeds, your example, your gained wisdom…. You birth creativity, can model civility, generosity, respect, and compassion.

So happy Father’s Day to all masculine energies out there. This day is also for you.


© Earth Goddess Wisdom – www.earthgoddesswisdom.com

A year of ‘lasts’…

Posted in relationships on January 27th, 2016 by gaiaswisdom — Be the first to comment!


“A ship is safe in harbour, but that’s not what ships are for.”

-William Shedd


This year will be a year of ‘lasts’…. Today was the first of them: last ‘first day of school’.

When you have a child, it’s always ‘firsts’: first solid food; first smile; first word; first step; first day at school….. This year my only child finishes school. So I realised this year is a year of ‘lasts’: last school shoes purchased; last school fees; last ‘first day of school’; last drop off and pick up. Ever. That’s kind of sad 🙁

It’s exciting too because there’ll be new ‘firsts’: uni, car, full-time job ….. grandchild. But it’s still sad.lpbcb

Truth is… I never really wanted kids … not like some women do. I was a bit blasé about it. I was fearful when I fell pregnant that I would have a girl: I said to my brother “I have no idea how to relate to a girl! Look at me and mum!!” He told me: “It won’t be the same kind of relationship. You’re not mum, and she’s not you.” And he was right. When she came along I wondered WHAT was I thinking? She is AMAZING! I’m only sorry that we were unable to have others – she would have made an awesome big sister, in the same way she’s been an awesome daughter. In the same way she is an awesome friend to her peers.

I’ve watched her over the years grow, develop, become a strong, independent, talented young woman. She has had some curve balls thrown at her over the last four years in particular and through it all she has managed to stay strong, resilient, and dealt with trials that would send many adults packing. This year she was invited to exhibit her photography in the local art gallery – quite a coup for a 16 year old. People said “You must be so proud of her”.

I’ve never really much liked that phrase. After all, this implies I had something to do with it. Being proud means to have a feeling of immense pleasure in one’s own achievements. I don’t think I did anything to contribute to her achievements. SHE should be proud … no doubt! Sure, we’ve helped her but what have we done that is any more than any other parent does for their child: give birth, nourish, keep safe, encourage, instil a sense of responsibility for her actions. But I’m not responsible for her abilities. But I am proud.

I’m proud I am her mother. I’m proud she chose ME of all others to be her gateway into this world, where she can then showcase HER talent, HER unique gifts, bring HER own special uniqueness and magic to the world.

“Successful” parenting is a double-edged sword. I love this person more than I ever thought possible. I don’t want her going anywhere but I know, once she’s done with school, her world will open up and she has so much to give it would be selfish to ‘stop’ her, to not release her into the world – frankly, a world that needs more people like her. When she came along I gave up my uni studies, left work and opened up my business so I could be with her and be there for her whenever she needed. As she grew we moved our family out west to a better school and a better place for her to grow up. But we know that once she’s had a taste of working in the real world next year, she’ll head off to uni. Living regionally this means she’ll be moving out of home and back to the city and we’ll see her only on breaks. She’ll be off, exploring, becoming her own person. That’s going to be tough …. but isn’t that what ‘successful’ parenting is meant to achieve? So on the one hand you don’t want this exceptional human being leaving you, but that’s precisely what all your endeavours have been geared towards. Production of an independent, stoical, empathic, strong person who will make a positive impact on community. If you’ve done that, you’ve done your job as a parent.

I’m excited to see “where to from here”. But I’m not kidding – it’ll be like losing a limb.

I guess I just have to trust that she enjoys being with us as much as we enjoy spending time with her and she’ll actually want to come back. I also know that as she experiences more ‘firsts’ in her life she’ll still need us – for guidance, support, encouragement. So perhaps things don’t really change THAT much. I have to trust that our relationship will change as she becomes an adult – as it must – where we relate adult to adult rather than as parent and child. And given the sort of person she is, I reckon that relationship is likely to be even better than the one we’ve had for the last 16 years.


© Earth Goddess Wisdom – www.earthgoddesswisdom.com

Tell you a secret…

Posted in General on August 10th, 2015 by gaiaswisdom — 1 Comment so far

Here it is.

I’m an introvert. Some people know this. Most don’t – or more likely don’t really care. Why should they? It’s my issue right?

One of the reasons I don’t put my name to this blog is because I want people to take on the ideas expressed because they speak to them – not because they know the author. Another is because I’m an introvert and really don’t want – or need – the kudos.

But here’s the thing. Introverts still need friends. Not all the time but like everyone else we like to feel included and liked. Solitude is great for us… but there’s a fine line between solitude and social isolation.

I run my own business and work hard. Since I also work alone this can mean friends tend to forget you exist. Social media is great to counter this to some extent because at least an update now and then lets them know you’re still alive.

I went to an event where I heard friends talking about something they were going to (that I wasn’t). As an introvert I’m used to feeling invisible and most of the time that works well for me – but even I have to draw a line. I can deal with people not asking me to things – I’m used to not being included because I realise most of the time it’s not intentional but simply because introverts are easy to overlook. But talking about it in front of me is a bit much. So I figured, if it’s gotten to the point where friends have kind of forgotten I’m even around, I’ll fix it and ask THEM to do stuff! Problem solved right? Not so much…

Image: Jeshu John - www.jeshujohn.com

Image: Jeshu John – www.jeshujohn.com

Here’s the thing: for an introvert to do that is akin to a couch potato running the Boston Marathon. It means when I ask you to catch up for, say coffee, I’ve probably been working up to it for weeks and gone through at least seven of the nine rings of hell to even hit ‘send’ on the message or pick up the phone. I might even ‘drop hints’ instead as the more comfortable, less confronting option. “So, I haven’t seen you in a while, we should catch up”. “The weather’s warming up, pop down to work when you’re free and we can go for a walk”.

This is probably hard for the less introverted amongst you to understand. I get that. But it’s a massive thing for an introvert to do that. It’s not about being shy or a fear of rejection. It’s about stepping out of a comfort zone. And sometimes we just can’t do it.  (Thing is after asking, or accepting the rare invite, we’re probably already trying to think of ways to get out of going!) When you don’t answer, or say “sure” and don’t follow up, thing is, we’re unlikely to keep asking.

Don’t expect an introvert to keep issuing the invitations. If they ask you over either go, or don’t, but be clear what you’re going to do because they’ll need to prepare themselves for the get together. If they ask a few times and you don’t act on it or take them up, they’re going to stop asking. It’s not worth the energy expended. They don’t have much to spare.

Another tip:  if they do ask you to do something, never EVER invite others to go too unless you’ve checked in with them first! Introverts struggle to spend time with people they know well. Doing so with strangers when they were prepared for spending time with a friend will send them running for the door fast!

Introverts don’t have loads of friends … they don’t need them, and they are selective about who they share their limited energy with. Massive gatherings are a nightmare for them. Even business functions and meet ups are a struggle. And they don’t care how many friends YOU have.  They’re also not particularly competitive so have no interest in how many societies you belong to, how many friends visit you, or who you know. If you truly value the time you do spend with them, best not to go on about it too much.

So if an introvert asks you – even off-handedly – to do something, if you’re their friend, take them up on it before they change their mind. Because what it means is they value you enough to actually want to spend their time with you.


Are you an introvert? Do you have similar experiences and if so how do you handle it?

Do you know an introvert and have realised you may have done some of the above things without realising it?

Share your experiences in the comments!


© Earth Goddess Wisdom – www.earthgoddesswisdom.com

One of the Biggest Myths About Atheism, Debunked – | Guff

Posted in beliefs on April 24th, 2015 by gaiaswisdom — Be the first to comment!

Nicely written article on ‘angry atheists’

Source: One of the Biggest Myths About Atheism, Debunked – | Guff

Where There’s Love There’s Life

Posted in love on March 6th, 2015 by gaiaswisdom — Be the first to comment!

I saw this quote the other day and I just love it. I have no idea who said it and can’t find the reference to who spoke the words. But it kind of follows on from yesterday’s Live Life Now post – especially for those who are alone or lonely.

“Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back!heart
Don’t expect love in return;
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours.”

And I think that’s what it’s about! Love is fundamentally the feeling that arises in YOU – we enjoy the feeling of being in love because it makes US feel good! Often we confuse this with the OTHER making us feel that way when in fact it is our own spirit creating the feeling!

Having someone love us should not be the goal!  In the same way no one can make you feel bad about yourself, they can’t make you love. All these emotions arise within and from US as the source – not externally.

Experiencing love – and that can be love for a person, love for an animal, love for a place, love for a pastime – that is what makes us human and should be our goal. So love doesn’t necessarily mean you must be partnered to be happy. It means that if you have experienced that feeling/emotion we call ‘love’, then you have lived!

(The title is actually a paraphrase of a quote from Gandhi: “Where there is love, there is life”.)

© Earth Goddess Wisdom – www.earthgoddesswisdom.com